The Groom’s Responsibilities
- Stag party.
- Bride’s wedding ring.
- Hiring of his own, best man’s and ushers’ suits.
- Transport for best man and himself to ceremony venue.
- Civil or church ceremony fees.
- Presents for the bride, bridesmaids, pages, ushers and best man.
- His going-away outfit.
- Transport away from reception venue for himself and his new wife.
- Wedding night venue.
- Press announcement for wedding.
Book the ceremony
See our Marriage in Jersey section to find out the procedure for this. Your fiancee will be equally involved with this and your chosen celebrant will wish to get to know you both before the ceremony
Check your Birth Certificates
It is compulsory in a marriage ceremony for the complete name, as it appears on the Birth Certificate, to be used
Choose the Best Man and Ushers
see “Bestman Responsibilities” for advice.
Buy the wedding ring(s)
You will definitely need to take your fiancee with you for this one!
Decide on the outfits for the male members of the wedding party
Remember to co-ordinate style and colours with bride. If you are hiring, book outfits well in advance, don’t leave it until the last minute to collect them and DO check everything is in in the suit bag (and fits) before the day. The groom may pay for the best man’s and ushers’ outfits, if they are hired.
Plan, book and pay for the honeymoon
If you do follow tradition and keep the destination as a surprise for your bride – do remember to give her enough information so she can pack the appropriate clothes. Don’t forget passports, visas, inoculations and currency. If your bride wants her passport in her married name, she will need to arrange this with the passport office well in advance. You might want to consider booking the first night or two somewhere close by as your bride will have had an exhausting day and you might want to spend some time with friends and relatives who have travelled to be with you. Try and keep this destination a secret and avoid falling victim to practical jokers.
Traditionally the groom, with the best man’s assistance, organises his own transport to the ceremony, transport for the journey with the bride to the reception and for leaving the reception on their honeymoon. Check each route and time your journey, making allowance for rush hours, road works and delays. Often the groom’s car is used to take the groom and best man to the ceremony, make arrangements to have it collected later, or arrange for the best man to drive it to the reception and don’t forget to give him the keys. All transport arrangements should be co-ordinated with the bride’s family. There are other options now, you might want to hire transport for the groom and bestman and then after the wedding service the chauffer can drive other members of the family to the reception.
Ordering the button holes for the groomsmen
Buttonholes may be ordered with the other flowers and collected from the bride’s home on the morning of the wedding, by the best man. Alternatively have them delivered or collected separately and given to the best man for distribution. It is also traditional for the groom to pay for the brides bouquet, the bridesmaids’ flowers, corsages for the mothers as well as the other buttonholes.
The Stag Party
This is the bestman’s job, but make sure your bestman knows what you want for your stag night. Decide what you are going to pay for and, as necessary, give the money to your best man who will make the arrangements for you. Don’t hold a riotous stag party on the eve of your wedding. If you turn up to the ceremony with a hangover you are not going to be popular with anybody – least of all your bride. For inspiration see our Planning section for ideas.
Buy the gifts
Traditionally for the best man and ushers, for the bridesmaids, but why not surprise your bride and perhaps your new mother in law.
Write your speech
See “Essentials – Speeches” for advice.
Attend the wedding rehearsal
This is generally held shortly before the big day. It makes sure that everyone will know the part they are to play in the ceremony, where to stand and who to escort.
Pack for your honeymoon
If you are leaving on honeymoon from the reception you should change at the reception venue, make sure the best man and bridesmaids are left in charge of any clothing and gifts that you may leave behind. If you are not leaving from the reception and plan to stay until the end, get the best man and chief bridesmaid to make sure that everyone knows this, since some people won’t expect to leave until the bride and groom have done so. Arranging for your wedding clothes to be collected. Arrange for your bestman to collect all the hired suits and return them on time.
The Wedding Day
The bridegroom and the bestman should arrive at the wedding venue about twenty to thirty minutes before the service is due to start. The photographer will take the traditional photos of the broom and the groom and bestman shaking hands. The groom should generally not engage in much conversation during this time but would wait quietly.
After the ceremony and signing of the registry the groom walks back up the aisle with his new wife on his left and then escorts his bride to have the formal photographs taken.
After the photographs, it’s on to the reception. The bride and groom stand at the end of the reception line and greet the guests as they arrive, at this time the groom should introduce the bride to members of his family or his friends who she has not already met.
Next come and speeches. The groom’s speech follows that of the bride’s father. His speech should thank everyone who helped organise and who contributed to the wedding, to thank the bride’s parents for giving him their daughter, present the gifts and should always end with a thank you and toast to the bridesmaids.
Following the meal and the speeches comes the cutting of the cake, and then shortly afterwards the first dance. In some countries, the tradition is that the bride’s father cuts the cake and the groom invites the bride’s mother to dance, however, it is more usual for the “happy couple” to jointly cut the cake and then to share the first dance together.
After this, the bride and groom have no more official duties. They can spend the rest of the evening mingling, dancing, chatting and doing what comes naturally ….